Tuesday, November 15, 2016

November 15, 2016 - Remission 👉🏼continued!

 
I followed up with my oncology team at MD Anderson today. I just love my nurse, nurse practitioner and doctor. They work together so well and so professionally. They each have perfect bedside manner as well. 

I was yet again the youngest person on the leukemia floor, and I always win the award for craziest pants (had to get up at 4am for my flight. Workout leggings are the easiest and most plentiful thing in my closet #sorrynotsorry 😉)

My lab work looks great! My white blood cell count is elevated from my last visit (August), but it did not double. Watching for it to double is one of the major signs of active CLL. My platelets are even higher than in August, which is great! I have a lymph node that has enlarged in my neck, but that is all that has changed! (Yay!)

He wants me to have blood work wth my primary care doctor in 3 months, and he wants me to see him again in 6 months. 

I do feel like there is a dark cloud following me... like "here I am... I will make you feel bad... you just wait." I guess those thoughts/fears are what I have to learn to live with as someone with chronic cancer.

I am so thankful for a good visit! I feel very fortunate! Thank you for the prayers, for following my updates, and for your continual support. 

See ya in SIX, Houston. I'm out! ✌🏼

Thursday, August 18, 2016

August 18, 2016 - Remission!

 
I'm in Houston!

You are right. The above picture is NOT Houston... Not in the slightest. This picture was taken in Montana a few weeks ago, and it is much prettier than my current Houston landscape - so here ya go!

I had a wonderful summer. I was lucky enough to have a couple of vacations, one of which where I was in the beautiful state of Montana. However, throughout the summer fun I always had this dreaded deadline at the end of the summer: my next appointment at MD Anderson. 

It felt like this defining day like "here's the end" or "it all starts to be terrible on this day"... But at my appointment, I finally got to put that dreadful feeling behind me because I got very good news. Great news, actually. 

The words REMISSION were used. These are words I never thought I'd hear. 

Dr. Burger said my labs look really good... Good enough to call it "remission"!! He said at my last visit in May, it was skewed from the chemo-immunotherapy that I received in April, but this time they all look truly normal. NORMAL - my new favorite word. I used to hate that word, but today... I love it. My platelets are 327, up from 207 - which is really good. When they get to the 100's - that's one of the factors indicating time for treatment. (There are many factors, however.)
My hemoglobin came back up to 12.7 after the chemo, which is when it was 11.8. My WBC (white blood cell count) is 5.0 which is low normal, but still normal. 
He said that because my labs show remission (NORMAL! favorite word) that he still can't test the mutational status. Mutational status tells you how aggressive your specific CLL is... So we still don't know that - but remember my ZAP-70 was positive - which is usually associated with a "more aggressive CLL."
He was going to let me go until January before coming back for my next follow up, but then when he learned of all the sinus infections I've had over the last 3 months, he decided that he wants me back in November. After that, if I'm still NORMAL, I may be able to go 6 months before coming back again for a follow up. 
He told me overall to listen to my body. He reminded (warned!!) me that I can get sick easier than most, and that having no spleen makes it even worse, as I've known. He told me to rest. 

REST. 

These are not words I'm used to. He told me to please rest when I need to. He highly recommended to keep life/work/all-the-things at a steady, not stressed out, pace. He said THIS will keep CLL in remission longer. 

So life, keep it cool. Alright?!?! 

Once again, thank you for loving me and supporting me through this CLL journey.

🍷cheers to normal!🍷

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

July 5, 2016 - Just living life... and thankful for the {LIVING} part

 
I thought I should update since its been a while. Thank you to everyone to checks in with me. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

Life has been good, considering. I guess on this blog "no news is good news" applies. So far this summer I have been able to take my son to the beach to visit family, enjoy a 10 year wedding anniversary vacation with my husband, and take a wonderful vacation with a dear lifelong friend of mine. I have also been able to make trips to St. Louis to visit/work at my businesses there.

All of this would not have been possible had I continued chemo. I know I may need chemo in my lifetime, but I am thankful it was not now. I am really living life to the fullest right now and learning to have no regrets!

I have felt great minus one week in June when I had a sinus infection that also resulted in some very swollen, sore lymph node inflammation in the right side of my body (neck, underarms). It scared me terribly. It also had fatigue accompanying it that knocked me down for a few days. I started an antibiotic. The swollen lymph nodes were gone quickly, and I started to feel better quickly. Whew.

I feel back to normal now. I go back to MD Anderson for a follow-up August 18. I am anxious to get there, yet also happy I don't need to get there sooner.

As always, thank you for loving and supporting me!

Friday, May 27, 2016

May 27, 2016 - Remaining Test Results, Treatment Plan

Unfortunately, the testing for the mutational status did not work for technical reasons, presumably because there were too few leukemia cells left after my last chemo-immunotherapy. This test can be repeated at some point in the future, but it may not work when there are so little leukemia cells in place (from the chemo). Sometimes, even with small numbers of CLL cells, the test can still pick up a signal, but in my case, despite several attempts, it did not work.

So the next step is to wait and watch. There are little leukemia cells in my system (yay!) at this time. Upon choosing this route, Dr. Burger (at MD Anderson) suggests monitoring the disease from now on with serial blood draws and physical examination, initially every 2-3 months. Once the disease becomes active again, I would begin to take the kinase inhibitor, Ibrutinib. Ibrutinib (Imbruvica) is the pill I mentioned previously that has been shown to control CLL without the risks involved with receiving chemo-immunotherapy.

So for now, I will live my life to the fullest as long as I am feeling well. If things start to deteriorate, I will get to Houston sooner than later. At this point, Dr. Burger wants to see me next in August or September.

PS My left arm, where I had the chemo, is STILL purple, bruised, and painful to touch from my first chemo 4/18-4/19. It is not a phlebitis or infected, just normal bruising. I cannot imagine having to again stick this arm and run IV infusions for 6 hours 1 day and 2 hours the next day. I know people do it; I just cannot imagine. I may have to do chemo again in my lifetime, but I am just thankful its not today! Cheers! 

Friday, May 13, 2016

May 13, 2016 - some results from MD Anderson

Lyn, Dr. Burger's Nurse Practitioner with MD Anderson, emailed me today. They do NOT have the mutational status of my CLL just yet. What they do know so far:

  • FISH test is negative - which is good. This means there are no cytogenetic abnormalities detected (like deletion 13, deletion 17) with my CLL.
  • I still do have some CLL in my bone marrow. They said a "small amount" which is probably because I have had one round of chemo. 
  • The somatic hypermutation (IgVH) is still pending - the mutational status. 
  • ZAP 70 is positive - which is a "higher risk feature." This is a marker on the cell which may be associated with more aggressive disease. 
Dr. Burger is currently out and returns next week. The nurse practitioner will consult with him and let me know a treatment plan once he returns. 

Thursday, May 5, 2016

May 5, 2016 - We are home! New plan...

I realized many of you still think we are in Houston! We are home now, and I feel an overall sense of relief about my life!

Next steps: await the mutational status of my CLL. I will then discuss with Dr. Burger, at MD Anderson, the plan of care - whether we "wait and watch" or we begin the Imbruvica/Ibrutinib tablet treatment for control of the CLL.

I have decided to no longer seek treatment at West Clinic in Memphis. My next chemo/immunotherapy appointments have been CANCELLED. [Oh, that is such a relief to even type.] I am going to make trips to Houston as needed for blood work, doctor visits, etc. We are very disappointed that I was initially advised at West Clinic to begin chemo/immunotherapy immediately, WITHOUT being told of the impending risk factors (mainly the real risk of developing other blood cancers within my lifetime that have no effective treatment!).

For anyone who may stumble on this blog in your diagnosis journey - whether its CLL or another form of cancer - hindsight is 20/20. So use my hindsight as YOUR foresight, and save yourself some heartache! Once diagnosed, seek out specialists for your type of cancer BEFORE beginning any treatment - especially for a chronic cancer (which means slow growing). Don't just see the nearest oncologist a referring doctor recommends. Get to someone who is connected to the research!

It is depressing knowing that I do have cancer and that there is no cure for CLL (yet!). This is something I will battle for the rest of my life. But luckily the good news is I am able to live a long life with CLL. We were very scared for several weeks about all those unknowns so having some clarity and being in the right hands has been life changing!

Many thanks to all my friends and family who helped me get to MD Anderson, whether by cooking food for my family, bringing us food during chemo, driving me to/from West Clinic, babysitting Jackson, and sitting with me during long doctor appointments keeping me laughing through it all. Thank you to the amazing Dr. Leah Tonkin, who I am lucky enough to call a friend, for getting all my paperwork to MD Anderson and doing the research with the best at St. Jude to get me with the best at MD Anderson. I am eternally grateful!

I will keep you posted as I continue this journey with my bad blood.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

May 3, 2016 - Dr. Jan Burger Initial Appointment

What a day! We got a much needed, clearer picture of CLL today than in the last 33 days since diagnosis. We spent 6 hours at MD Anderson. I gave 15 vials of blood, told my past medical history more times than I can count, and met some amazing practitioners who know more about cancer than I can even tell you.

We learned that I do not have a Stage 4 CLL; it is Stage 1 (mainly, but not limited to, my platelet count). He does use a different staging system (Rai staging), per the nurse practitioner, but we certainly like the sound of Stage 1 vs. Stage 4. My lymph nodes are MUCH smaller since my first chemo treatment, so Dr. Burger did say its hard to say whether he would have even recommended to begin treatment. There is usually a "watch and wait" period in CLL. I was diagnosed and treated immediately. My lymph nodes were of a concerning size, but they are not now, so he said treatment may have been warranted - or maybe a watch and wait would have been recommended. 

My FISH panel is normal. I do not know much about this test (from the bone marrow) except that it gives us a good picture of how to treat this cancer. Normal equals good!

The most obvious question I had, and it seemed extremely logical to my non-oncologist brain was, "WHY, if you have cancer, would you NOT treat it? Don't you want to get rid of it??" He said it is a great question and that with CLL there is no cure, so you treat it only if its active, causing symptoms, or in advanced stages of the disease. With my enlarged lymph nodes, the argument can be made to treat me - which we did begin. He said there is no clear answer here - guess that's just how it goes sometimes with cancer. 

There is one piece missing to determine my treatment: the mutational status. Do I have mutated vs. un-mutated CLL. If its un-mutated, the cancer often acts more aggressive. If it is mutated, it is usually less aggressive. (I would have thought the opposite, but whatever.) This is a key factor in determining treatment; however, I have had a round of chemotherapy so there may not be many leukemia cells to test in my blood. 

Treatment options:
Bendamustine and Rituxin  (BR) [the chemotherapy/immunotherapy I received 4/19-4/20] - is mostly used in elderly people. Dr. Burger has not used it on a CLL patient in over a decade. 

Fludarabine, Cyclophophamide, & Rituximab (FCR) - another chemotherapy/immunotherapy treatment option. This is the one he would recommend in younger people, like myself. 

Both of the above would put mutated CLL into remission after 4-6 months of treatments. Why FCR over BR or vice versa? He recommend FCR over BR because patients are usually in remission for much longer. So overall it is more effective, but it does also have more side effects - the main one being even lower WBC's and resulting infections. 

The main drawback to the chemo/immunotherapies is 5-8% of these patients develop other blood cancers in their lifetime - those being MDS (Myelodysplastic Syndrome) and AML (Acute Myeloid Leukemia) which have NO EFFECTIVE TREATMENT.

Whoa. So that was a game changer TO SAY THE VERY LEAST. Especially because of my age.

He mentioned this risk SEVERAL times in our consultation. He said this is why there is a "huge push" to move away from these types of treatments. He even once said "that's 1 and 20 who end up with these terminal conditions."

This brings us to the treatment he recommends: It is called Ibrutinib. It is a NON-chemotherapy, kinase-inhibitor tablet that would be taken daily. It is a continuous treatment, not a cure. It is something one may end up taking for years keeping the disease under control. This is a newer drug, recently just approved as a front-line medicine, that does NOT come with the same toxic side effects to the healthy stem cells, like the above scary side effect of chemo/immunotherapies. Yes, it hasn't been around as long (since 2010). Nothing like that has been seen and because of the mechanism of how it works, they do not expect to see it. 

Next steps? Wait for the mutation testing to be completed. It should be available in 10-14 days. Once it is back, he will recommend: a.) no treatment for now - just every 3 month blood tests with him to monitor the disease; or b.) begin the Ibrutinib tablets daily. 

I have not cancelled my next chemotherapy appointment yet at West in Memphis. We are going to take a BREATH, soak this all in, and I will be in contact with Dr. Burger, and his FNP, Lynn. We will wait on the next mutation test and go from there. 

THIS PLACE IS AMAZING!

May 3, 2016 - MD Anderson, Houston, TX


We're here! Jack and I arrived in Houston yesterday. I have appointments all day at MD Anderson. I am seeing Dr. Jan Burger. We are anxious about his work and knowledge about CLL. Stay tuned! 

Thursday, April 28, 2016

April 28, 2016

Excuse the car picture. We were waiting in line at the pharmacy for Jackson's meds as he has a horrid sinus infection, of course. CLL Update! My neck lymph nodes are MUCH smaller - after just one round of chemo. This is the desired goal, per my oncologist. I am so thankful! 

This week has been much better. I have been able to go back to the normal daily routine, and it feels amazing. You don't realize what all you take for granted until you can't get out of bed due to extreme fatigue and nausea. Dreading next month already...

I got into MD Anderson in Houston, TX next week. We are excited (are we? Excited? Well not really: anxious) for appointments with top leaders in the CLL world. Thank you to my parents for coming to keep Jackson (and our dog, Presley) while we are gone. I will keep you updated as we know more :) 

Friday, April 22, 2016

April 22, 2016 - Day 3 & 4 post chemo #1

It's been a hard few days - and I usually consider myself pretty tough - but this has knocked me down for sure. The only one happy about all this down time is my 4 lb, 12 year old chihuahua, Presley. One must have a pet during things like this. Must! Hoping for a better weekend :)

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

April 19, 2016 - Day 2 of Chemo, 1st round



Tracy, the friend I mentioned before, who is a nurse practitioner who recommended I get these wild lymph nodes checked out was with me both days. She has been such a good friend and doctor. Explaining all the newness and unknowns - I am so thankful for friends and family right now!

So far I feel a little exhausted, but mostly just from the adrenaline rush that has been the last 20 days since diagnosis.

I'm on anti-viral meds, I am stock piled with antibiotics to take should I get the first sign of any illness, and I'm on strict instructions to stay away from anyone even with the sniffles. He told me to not be around any children. I raised my hand and said, "well, I have one... so there's that!" He told me 8 years old is much better than a 1 year old in daycare.

Expectations: I am able to work out if I feel like it (#purebarrelife), I'm able to travel (only in the US), I'm able to carry on as normally as I feel like. He said a few days after the treatment each month is when my immune system will be at its lowest and when I should feel the most fatigue. I am stock piled with anti-nausea pills as well. He does not expect that I will lose my hair, but he was careful to make sure I understand that everyone reacts differently. Obviously, if I need to lose my hair to get better - we are on board!

Currently the most uncomfort I have is from a very swollen, sore arm from IV's x 2 days. So I'm trying my best to take it easy. Which is hard for me! I want to be at Pure Barre with all my soul. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, who knows. I'm going to listen to my body and take it easy - I'm determined. But its hard - cancer picked the wrong person!

April 18, 2016 - treatment plan and first day of chemo



Jack and I met with our oncologist to go over my CT results and bone marrow biopsy. The CT found that there are more abnormally large lymph nodes in my abdomen (where?! I do not understand!) and my hips. The bone marrow biopsy finally did show some elevated white blood cells and other marker signs of CLL.

30% of my bone marrow is affected with CLL. This means we are dealing with a Stage 4 CLL. He was very careful and hesitant about telling me about this staging. He did say the stage is not to reflect "terminal" status like with some acute cancers, [in cancer think: acute = fast growing; chronic = slow growing] but rather the staging tells us how to treat it. He assured me he has treated CLL many times, and even many times in people my age.

He wanted me to begin chemo that day. The chemo regimen I started has a 90% effective rate, which in the oncology world is very, very good. My regimen is a 2-day treatment (one long day, followed by a shorter day) once every month for 6 months. The chemo drug names are: Rituxin and Bendamustine.

We will possibly explore second opinions, but for now we just wanted to get it all going.

Day one was long, exhausting, and just overall not comfortable - but I get by with a little help from my friends.

April 15, 2016 - When life gets hard, take it to the Big Easy.



So my thoughtful husband decided we could not possibly sit around for another weekend dwelling on the unknowns. So we booked a last minute flight to New Orleans for a much needed weekend together without Jackson. We needed some time together to discuss all our fears, hopes, and lose our minds a little in good music on Frenchman's street, amazing food in the French Quarter, and bars that serve mimosas at all hours :) It was just what the doctor ordered.

April 5, 2016 - First visit to West Cancer Center


So after clearing it with my ENT, I still went to St. Louis that weekend to help launch our newly incorporated cardio class at Pure Barre called, Pure Barre Platform. I was also able to tell the horrible news to my entire team in person - which meant a lot to me. I dreaded it deeply, but was glad the timing worked out that I was able to do so. My ENT told me I could go, but to make arrangements to return to Memphis as soon as I get word of an appointment at West. So I came back Monday afternoon. My husband and I met with our oncologist, Dr. Arnel Pallera, at West Tuesday, April 5.

He told me this type of cancer is usually in much older people, meaning 60s! and it is usually found in males. He told me that he thinks I've had it for several years. I have noticed over the last 2-3 years my sinus infections have become more frequent and harder to fight off. I also opened 2 businesses 300 miles away 8 months apart, so getting sick more frequently did not give anyone any red flags. I was worn down naturally. I was also raising a very busy little boy at home as well so I was always just trying to keep up. But he thinks the repeat, more frequent infections were/are because my WBC's are being replaced by cancer cells.

He told me I needed another CT to include my abdomen and hips, and a bone marrow biopsy.

So Friday, April 8 I had both done. The bone marrow biopsy - wow. I hope to never do that again. It was quite a painful recovery. Nothing like a large man putting his entire weight on your body with a screw gun into your backside hip bone. gahhh.

Our next appointment would not be until Monday, April 18 to go over the results and treatment plan.



START HERE!!! Background of the diagnosis

First of all, thank you for joining me here. This is only for those who want to keep up. No pressure to read it at all! This is all very detailed as to give you all answers you may need.
Thank you for loving me! ~Heidi

Here we go... I noticed swollen lymph nodes on my neck in August 2015. They were painless and did not bother me at all. I don't have a spleen (car accident in high school), I don't have tonsils, and I have horrid allergies. So I'm a sinus mess and battle infections often - which is nothing shocking considering all of the above puts a lot of stress on my lymph system to fight anything off. At a PCP dr visit last August because of a suspected sinus infection, I mentioned the nodes on my neck seemed larger than I'd ever noticed. She agreed and ordered a mono test - which was negative. My sinus infection came and went. I had another infection in November, which also came and went, but the lymph nodes on my neck never changed. Also of note, my white blood cell count was normal this whole time.

In January 2016, I noticed smaller bumps right above my collarbone as well. I didn't know if these were lymph nodes, but assumed so. I asked a brilliant nurse practitioner friend of mine, very casually, as I was putting on my headset to teach a Pure Barre class one afternoon, "Hey, is it weird I've had these lymph nodes here for months? They don't hurt, and I don't even notice them until I touch them. Now I have these bumps on my collarbone, too." She felt them and encouraged me to see my PCP again. So I did. After 4 vials of blood, chest and sinus x-rays, a physical exam, and an ultrasound of my lymph nodes, we found no infection - just abnormal sized lymph nodes, which we already were aware of. So she told me to see my ENT.

I see my ENT end of January 2016. He explains to me again the natural overworked lymph system I have (no spleen, no tonsils, bad allergies) and wants me to do a round of antibiotics to rule out a baseline infection. Which made perfect sense because I will often have a bad sinus infection with no elevated white blood cells, so this plan I thought was good. He wanted me to do that and then have a repeat ultrasound in 6 weeks. I finished that round of antibiotics, and also ended up doing another round between that time since I ended up with bronchitis as well, had the repeat ultrasound with zero change. They hadn't increased, which was good. They didn't get smaller, which was what we were hoping for. They stayed the same, which meant more tests. So a few weeks later I went in for a CT scan with contrast (the dye injected into your veins) of my neck and chest. The lady blew my veins TWICE - which feels like someone pouring rubbing alcohol all over an open wound. After the second one, I was about to walk out. I was starting to think this was all pointless because again I FEEL FINE. I literally had just taken a Pure Barre Platform class before this appointment, which if you've done Platform, you know takes a lot of HEALTH and ENERGY to complete. So anyway the lady called in someone else who did the stick - which worked the third time.

My ENT called 2 days later saying the CT showed abnormally large lymph nodes "too numerous to count" in my neck and underarms. (Underarms? Where! I don't see them or feel them! This is all so bizarre.) So he recommended we do a needle biopsy of the largest lymph node in my neck. I said, "ok well I go to St. Louis this weekend for work. Maybe the next week?" He says, "No, I'm not in the office tomorrow, but I'm coming in to see you. Please come in and lets do it tomorrow." (which I should have known meant he wasn't expecting the best - because what dr is in a hurry?)

So I met him the next day, he numbed up the entire right side of my head and neck, and took several needle samples of the largest lymph node. It was not pleasant, but he prepared me for that, and he was fast and efficient. He then told me the results would not be back for a week, and if its bad news, he does not like to do that over the phone. I said, "well I really don't have time to come back. I'll be in St. Louis all week. Please just call me with whatever it is. I give you my permission." (because I don't have time for yet another dr visit, much less CANCER).

Well, he calls me the very next day. I'm driving on Mendenhall in East Memphis toward Houston's restaurant with my 8 year old, Jackson, heading to meet Jack for dinner. The phone rings, its my ENT's office, at 5:15pm on a Friday. "Heidi, its Dr. Touliatos. I don't have good news for you." All I could think was, "don't wreck the car." I was not quite to Houston's yet so I pulled into the Whole Foods parking lot, trying to keep Jackson in the car as he thinks we are headed in for dinner. I cannot even tell you what he told me I had. All I heard was, "the good news is, if you get leukemia, this is the best one you can get." I just said, "leukemia? what? how? I feel fine"... anyway then I asked him to text me the name of it because I could not even process. He recommended a colleague at West Clinic who he highly valued as a blood cancer doctor. He said when we hang up he is giving him a call. And he did.

April Fool's Day 2016 was one for the books.