August 6, 2019 - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together {well, maybe we will}

I had my 6 month follow up with Dr. Burger at MD Anderson in Houston this week. Thank you to my sweet mom for joining me!!

Things are fine. Things are not fine. But everything is fine. Make sense? No? Welcome to my brain. 

So my lab work is perfect (it’s never been all that remarkable anyway). The main concern with my type of CLL is aggressively growing lymph nodes. I started Imbruvica a little over 2 years ago. It has been super effective at driving the CLL cells out of my nodes and keeping my CLL extremely controlled! However, it has not been without side effects. I’ve been able to deal with them all, until now. For me, Imbruvica has been extremely hard on my hair, skin, nails, and maintaining adequate hydration. But I’ve hit a point where my body is having a hard time fighting off certain types of infections and showing signs of resistance with meds to clear the infections. As I thought all along, this can be a side effect of Imbruvica. 

Dr. Burger wants me to stop treatment for now and give my body a break. I’m terrified. I’m excited (can’t wait to eat things with grapefruit again {the latuga salad at Bari in midtown and I have some rekindling to do!}). I’m ok. I’m not ok. I’m overwhelmed with stopping. I will be obsessively monitoring for nodes to return. We are unsure how fast or slow that may happen. But... it will happen. 

Dr. Burger strongly feels someone at my age (young! for a chronic cancer) should not remain on treatment forever and constantly. Because then there is risk of my CLL becoming resistant to the treatment options. 

So—Imbruvica and I have broken up. We are never ever getting back together, or maybe we will. 

Plan: wait, watch, (obsess? all the wine?) yes, yes, yes & yes. Go back to Houston in 3 months for blood work. We will also test for MRD which means Minimal Residual Disease. This is the name given to small numbers of leukaemic cells that remain in the person during treatment, or after treatment when the patient is in remission. Ideally it will remain MRD-.  

If (read: when) nodes begin coming back, I will begin a different drug called Venetoclax. This drug was not available to me 2 years ago. There is a risk of tumor lysis syndrome with this medication, so it would be a low dose to start and increase each week for 6 weeks with weekly blood draws. That will either happen in Houston, with a local hematologist in Memphis, or with my primary care doctor. But—I will figure out those details when I need to. And should that med not work, we can still always go back to Imbruvica. 

How am I doing? Sometimes I am completely overwhelmed that I have to manage this disease. Other times I’m so thankful it’s not worse. Yesterday was one of those overwhelming days. It was a clear reminder that change is imminent, meds are always presenting with new and unfun side effects, and this is definitely a long journey—not a short story. 

So I’m going to really focus on the positives here. I will try very hard not to obsess on the negatives. 

Here we go! I officially stopped Imbruvica today. 🤞🏼