Houston, we [I] have a problem.
It was a sad, hard, not-fair day for me in Houston yesterday.
I'm usually a very strong person. But I am convinced you have to cry it out sometimes. So yesterday, I did just that... cried it all out on the streets of Houston, Texas. Luckily, I was told by an amazing therapist once to do exactly that. She said, "Heidi, cry it out. Otherwise, I'm afraid you, or anyone, would go crazy."
Yesterday was a day of disappointing news. I have had much larger than normal lymph nodes in my neck, underarms, abdomen, and groin that have concerned me for a couple of months... and they are also the reason I went to MD Anderson yesterday vs my much later appointment scheduled for August. Unfortunately, remission for now is over. I still have mostly great blood work, but the size of my lymph nodes show active CLL.
Boo.
I was overwhelmed with information yesterday, but today after being home again, and sorting it all out with my husband, we have decided to opt in for a research study that I qualify for. As scared as I am, and as much as I'm dreading a lot of the procedures and testing, overall we are thankful I get to be a part of it. MD Anderson is such an amazing place on the front-lines of cancer cures and treatment breakthroughs; we are overjoyed to even be considered.
We are still firming up things with Houston, insurance, research departments, etc., but if all goes smoothly I will begin this study and treatment in June. This study will put me in Houston A WHOLE LOT. But this should only last 6 months.
We are hopeful, prayerful, scared, and thankful. If you know me at all, you know I'm a planner like no one else. Things like this usually throw me for a loop. (Hello Type A personality) But I'm determined to make this go as smoothly for my family (and mostly my Jackson) as best I can. We have amazing family and friends who will help us through this all! For now, thank you for the love... Let's cry it out, then square our shoulders, and proceed on this #kickcancersass mission!
And yes! I'm really teaching 9:45 Pure Barre Memphis tomorrow - so you should come!!
